


Solitary

by cielmelodies



Series: ABO!Verse [3]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Gen, Hospitalization, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Medical Procedures, Pre-Sakumoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 06:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10566009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cielmelodies/pseuds/cielmelodies
Summary: In which they find out that Jun's an omega, and in not the most pleasant of ways.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted from my LJ, under the same name.  
> I've decided to post the ABO!verse in chronological order, rather than following the posting order from my LJ.

“Jun-kun? Where are you?” Sho was walking down the hallway towards the green room, calling out for the younger alpha. His nose was twinging at the strange mixture of scents in the hallway, which seemed to be coming from the green room. There was a new but alluring scent of rain, citrus and …coffee?, overlying Jun’s scent, and frankly speaking, the alpha could hardly pull his attention away from the new enticing scent.

It would have been mouth-watering, if anything, if not for the fact that there was the accompanying scent-or-almost-stench of something or someone very, very sick.

The door to the room was closed, but he could faintly hear something/one huffing or panting, which made the alpha wary and cautious. He didn’t like barging into the room, really – impolite and all, so he reached up and knocked.

“Jun-kun? We were looking for you – we were planning on dinner, remember? Are you okay?”

Again, the panting sound continued, but then Sho’s sharp alpha hearing caught a faint whimper. There was a sharp peak in the enthralling scent, followed by the heart-plummeting scent of omega distress hormones.

_What in the world?_

His natural alpha instincts refused to let him turn away from the source of the distress hormones, even if that couldn’t have been Jun (because Jun was an…alpha, right?).

“Hello? Is everything okay?” He sharply rapped at the door again. “I’m coming in, alright?” Reaching forward, he turned the knob, quickly opening the door.

And then immediately entering and slamming the door shut when he was hit by a wall of spicy heat pheromones. Holy fucking. Something smelled really good…and off all at the same time. Sho was tempted to just run away from the room because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to jump the source of the scent or check if he or she was okay.

“…S-sho?” came a weak voice from the couch.

In his bid to restrain himself, the alpha had failed to notice the limp figure lying on the couch. Sho looked up, focusing on the figure amidst the haze of jumbled up alpha instincts.

A sharp coldness shot through his heart and cut across the haze immediately.

“What the fuck?” The words escaped Sho before he could even hold it back.

Jun was an alpha. He has always been an alpha, right? And yet, here he was, letting off the most enticing smell and was clearly in some form of heat; Sho was uncertain if he should jump the alpha – no, omega – or if he should walk away feeling betrayed – because there is that feeling of betrayal, or—

Another mewl of distress escaped Jun, and the sudden spike in omega distress hormones in the air quickly brought the alpha into attention that whether the man in question was an alpha or an omega, there was something wrong with him. Quickly coming closer, Sho’s sharp eyes surveyed at the figure curled up on the seat.

He didn’t look good: Jun was clearly showing the textbook signs of an omega in heat – flushed and sweat-slicked skin, a temperature far higher than usual, the panting and of course, the heat scent. But accompanying them were symptoms that the alpha knew was not normal – he was trembling, shaking even, deep tremors that seemed to be not be ceasing anytime soon, eyes tear-stained and bloodshot and hand tightly wrapped around his abdomen as though he is in pain.

“S-Sho, p-please don’t be angry.” The omega whispered frantically, trembling hands reaching out to try to grab onto the alpha. “I d-didn’t mean to hide it from e-everyone but –“ He whimpered, curling up further on his side in some form of pain. Sho *did* want to be angry – he was angry at the betrayal and at the hiding of secrets and he always hated people keeping secrets from him, but he couldn’t be angry at Jun right now.  
“I’m s-sorry, so so sorry,” the omega continued to babble in a half sob. The sight of the usually collected younger man in almost frantic desperation drove whatever resentment he had away and replaced it with alarm and half panic.

Dropping his knees onto the carpet next to (clearly, now) the omega, he shushed the panicked and pained whimpers coming from Jun, reaching out to cautiously feel his forehead. “It’s okay, don’t worry, I’m not angry.” He soothed. He was half afraid of touching him even, given that this was an unbonded omega in heat (sick, but still in heat) and he was an unbonded alpha; even with his restraint, he wouldn’t know how Jun would react.

“It hurts.” Jun whimpered, flinching away from whatever contact.

His skin was burning – even Sho knew that it was at a far higher temperature than what an omega

Inwardly panicking, he wondered what he should do – hospital? Or the rest of the group? Another omega – Nino. And Ohno, because he was already a bonded alpha and wouldn’t be as affected by the heat pheromones as he was. And Aiba, because he was a beta and heat pheromones don’t affect him at all. He was entirely the wrong person to deal with this right now.

Jun let out a small sob of pain. Under his palm, Sho could feel how strong he was shaking. Fuck, hospital probably. He softly crooned at the omega, intentionally releasing just a tiny bit of alpha pheromones to hopefully soothe the man. “I’m going to call for an ambulance – you need to go to a hospital.”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say, because the next moment Jun was panicking and sitting up to grab the hand that was reaching for his phone. “N-NO! No ambulance, n-no one can find out.”

“Jun… you’re sick and you’re in heat. There’s something wrong and you need help.” The alpha reasoned. “They’ll help you. Why didn’t you take heat suppressants if you weren’t feeling well and knew it was coming?”

“I d-did. I d-don’t know why this is happening.” The omega clutched at the alpha’s wrist, eyes half glazed and body starting to sway dangerously from its upright position. Sho quickly steadied him with his shoulders. “N-no hospital. I-I’m o-okay. Please, I’ll be okay.” He begged at the alpha.

The older man shook his head. “Okay, maybe not a hospital, but I’m going to call Nino here.”

“Nono please. They can’t know. No one is supposed to know.” Jun trembled even harder. “They’ll be so angry at me. I d-didn’t mean to. I’m n-not allowed tell anyone. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. They’re not going to be mad.” Sho soothed, one hand starting to type a quick message to Ohno. ‘Green room now urgent bring nino and aiba’ “Jun? Jun, look –“ he dropped his phone onto the carpet and cradled the omega’s face (who was still rambling out apologies) between his hands, “right now you’re an omega emitting heat pheromones and I’m an unbonded alpha. I can control myself but I’m out of my depth here and you need someone who can help you.” He knew his eyes were probably blown wide with the intoxicating scent, no matter how laced it was with wrongness.

“They’re not going to be angry, okay?” He tried to soothe, stroking the sweat soaked hair of the omega, inwardly begging for the rest to just hurry up and get here as Jun’s breaths became increasingly laboured and irregular, either from panic or from whatever was wrong with him.

The omega whimpered in response.

From outside the hallway, Sho’s heightened alpha hearing could faintly hear approaching steps, which broke out to a faster run the closer they got – likely because they managed to get a whiff of omega distress hormones or heat hormones. The door was quickly opened, revealing the other three members of the group, although they looked stunned when they realized what was happening.

Sho hissed, quickly slamming the door shut and locking it behind the three still shell-shocked men. In front of them, Jun half-whined and half-sobbed, curling into a pathetic looking ball with a stream of apologies escaping his lips at the mess everything’s becoming. Nino quickly found his composure the quickest, concern shooting up and pushing away the shock.

The gamer lowered himself down to the omega and pressed his own small hand against the trembling fevered skin, swearing almost immediately at the heat. Again, Jun flinched away, but Nino persistently kept in contact with him. “What did you do, Junpon?” When he spoke, it was with a gentle but concerned tone, the only thing betraying his panic and concern was the wide eyes he gave to the rest of the group.

“I-I’m so sorry please don’t hate me.” Came the response. Nino quickly cooed.

“We don’t hate you, right Ohchan? Aibachan?” A quick agreement came out, with the other two quickly coming forward in equal concern, hands fluttering with uncertainty. “What’s happening, Jun? What’s wrong?” the beta whispered with poorly concealed fright.

“I don’t know. T-they’re not working.”

“What’s not working?” Nino asked urgently, suddenly extremely panicked, recognizing the symptoms for something most omegas are taught to avoid from a relatively young age.

“Suppressants.” Jun half-sobbed.

This time Nino did swear out loud, hands cupping the omega’s rapidly whitening face. “How long did you take them for, Jun? Jun? Look at me.”

Jun’s eyes fluttered, focusing on the gamer’s face and recognizing worry on the everyones’. “N-nearly a month.” He whimpered.

“Shit. Ambulance, hospital, now.” As it was with Sho, Jun resisted, suddenly panicking and grabbing onto Nino and begging not to. “Jun, you need to go to a hospital – you’re not supposed to take suppressants for more than 2 weeks at most. After that it becomes toxic and it’ll stop working. How long have you felt sick? You need to see a doctor as soon as possible.”

“C-can’t. Please. N-no one’s supposed to know.”

“Why not?” This time it was Sho who asked. “You said you weren’t allowed to tell anyone – who told you that, Jun?”

“…Johnny-san. I-it was part of my c-contrac-,” Jun was suddenly interrupted by Nino standing up, expression dark and clearly angry. The older omega stood up, reaching for his phone and started to walk away. Jun panicked at the sight, crying out for Nino. “N-nino! I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry. P-please don’t be angry. I d-didn’t mean to.” His eyes were bright with anxiety and panic as the omega walked away.

Ohno quickly took over from his bondmate’s position, hand reaching out to stroke the omega’s hair and crooning to soothe the panicked and fevered man. “Kazu’s not angry at you, Jun. No one is.”

Keeping himself at a distance from the source of the alluring scent, Sho dragged his attention to Nino, who was now murmuring angrily at his phone, expression furious. He could only faintly make out a few words from what Nino was saying, but his eyes widened when he realized that a) Nino was on the phone with Johnny-san and b) he was swearing at their boss.

Less than 2 minutes later, he got off the phone and walked back to the four, sitting on the couch and wrapping Jun’s limp arm around his shoulders, gesturing for Ohno to do the same at the other side. He threw his phone at the stunned beta and alpha, which was lit with an address of a private hospital.

“That’s the hospital we’re going to. Johnny-san said that you’ve been there before and they know to keep things quiet, so we’re bring you there right now and you’re going to get help, Jun.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they find out that Jun's an omega, and in not the most pleasant of ways.

The hospital ward was relatively quiet, the silence punctuated by the soft beeping of medical equipment and gentle hissing of oxygen. One figure on the bed, one sitting in the chair next to it, and one leaning against the wall, arms crossed and eyes in a permanent glare. Outside the ward, the last 2 members of the group were seated at the visitors’ room – one heavily deep in thought, and the other still sniffing and rubbing tears away.

“Kazu, won’t you sit down?” Ohno carefully said, “…and maybe, stop glaring at the floor? It’s a bit scary.” He looked at the omega with wary concern. He was concerned too, because Nino had just ended his heat less than 3 days ago, and the gamer usually took several days to get rid of the accompanying lethargy. The omega shifted his glare at the alpha, who shrunk and raised his hands in surrender.

“He had no emergency contact, Ohchan – none.” Nino whispered after a while. His bond-mate nodded slowly, knowing this information already – they were all there when the doctor delivered the verdict to them. A heat gone wrong – made worse by the prolonged use of suppressants, hormone levels all dangerously imbalanced from the excessive suppressant use together with the heat, gastric ulcers from severe stress – it was a huge mess; Jun nearly went into respiratory distress when the rest of the band was told wait outside; and only calmed down after Nino managed to scare the doctor into letting him stay.

It was a really fucked up day, really.

And it was told to them. and not his next-of-kin, because that information was left blank, and there was an explicit request to not inform anyone should he be hospitalized, sans the agency. “Where the hell is his family? We know they exist – so why is it Jun doesn’t want them to know? How many secrets is he keeping from us?”

“I’m sure he has his reasons, Kazu.” He reasoned out carefully, reaching over to softly pat the limp hand in front of him. The omega sighed deeply, tilting his head back against the wall. He should have seen it, honestly. He knew that Jun smelt funny from the moment he met him, he knew there was something wrong with the man when he would take unexplained week leaves without any real explanation, coming back looking like he went through hell and back. The mothering tendencies – it could have been read as just overprotective alpha instincts, or typical omega tendencies. Honestly, how couldn’t he have not known?

A warm hug pulled the gamer out of his thoughts. “Don’t start blaming yourself.”

The gamer tsked at the alpha standing very close to him. “I’m not.” He blushed slightly when it came out higher pitched than he would have liked it to be.

Ohno stayed silent, head cocked to continue to watch Nino until the omega started fidgeting under his gaze, teeth biting his bottom lip. “I should have seen it.” He blurted out eventually. He couldn’t keep anything from the alpha, seriously. “I knew something was wrong. I should have said something or asked him or-,”

“A lot of us knew something was wrong, It’s not just your fault. It’s not something that we can change anymore.” The older male comforted, squeezing his arms reassuringly. “As long as we know now.”

Nino nodded with slight resistance, not really wanting to let it go that easily, but knowing it was true. At the nod, the alpha reached over to give him a soft kiss, before tugging the man out of the room. “Come on, Jun won’t be awake for another 8 hours of so. Let’s go find Sho and Aibachan, yes? Aiba-chan’s probably still crying and Sho-kun’s probably distracted.”

“But…” Nino’s eyes flicked over to the frail figure on the bed. “He’ll be out for a while. We all need some air anyway.” Ohno reasoned. The omega pulled away from his alpha momentarily to squeeze Jun’s unmoving hand, and carefully nosing Jun’s jaw in familial affection. He was careful to avoid the oxygen mask and the tubes trailing from the younger man, deeply inhaling the omega’s scent. Without the artificial pheromones, Nino could finally smell Jun’s scent more clearly, ignoring the smell of sickness that accompanied it.

Coffee. Citrus, Rain. How…homey. And very like Jun.

The gamer sighed, then returned to Ohno to demand for a comforting hug, which he received quickly.

\--

True to Ohno’s predictions, Aiba was still busy wiping the tears that were still falling uncontrollably, and Sho was distractedly patting the beta’s thigh in comfort.

“Ah Aibaka, stop crying already – Jun would be upset if he knew he made you cry.” Nino teased, letting go of his bond-mate’s hand to sit next to the beta and rubbing his back. Aiba let out a stiff sob-laugh, covering his eyes with his hands.

“S-sorry.” He babbled, earning a soft whack in the head by the omega. “Don’t apologize, you idiot. It’s okay.”

The entire time, Sho was still sitting stiffly in his chair, eyes far away and staring at the wall in front of him. “Sho-kun?” Ohno gently asked, placing a soft hand on the younger alpha’s shoulder.

“...All those mysterious week absences…he was in his heat, wasn’t he?”

“…Highly likely.”

A small sound of distress escaped the alpha’s throat, earning him concerned looks from the others. “Sho?”

“His family…he’s not in contact with them, right?” Sho whispered harshly.

“M-matsujun once mentioned he came from a family of a-alphas. I t-think he told me once they d-didn’t really like omegas that much.” Aiba stuttered out. Nino looked up at the ceiling, vaguely remembering that conversation happening during one of their nights out. “I t-thought, Matsujun is really amazing, to have grown up in such an atmosphere and still be r-respectful to omegas, because t-they didn’t sound really nice. A-and that once we had a s-stable income he quickly moved out to his own apartment, b-but…” He buried his face into his hands, a soft sob escaping Aiba. “h-he must have been so lonely.”

Ohno bit his lip, feeling his eyes burn slightly with the realization. In front of him, Sho was clenching his hands so hard, his knuckles were white and his nails were biting into his skin. Nino had resorted to just hugging the crying beta, his own eyes shiny with tears.

“Why didn’t he tell us?” Sho bit out half-angry – the anger of course, was not directed onto the omega that was currently unconscious in the hospital, rather at himself and how terrible the circumstances were as the pieces started to fall in place; all the mysterious medical absences, the caretaker omega tendencies, the over-affection (because omegas needed affection damn it and he was half certain that Jun’s family gave him none – that’s how alphas were.). “Heats are dangerous for omegas with no packs or no one to help them through it, aren’t they?” He looked sharply at Nino, who nodded reluctantly. “How many of them has he gone through alone? How many times has he had to have been hospitalized, if the agency has a specific hospital and doctor for him?”

His voice had turned more shrill right at the end, thick with emotions as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“He could have asked anyone of us for help.”

Ohno squeezed his shoulder tightly in response. “We’ll have to wait for him to wake up to tell us his reasons. I’m sure one of them might have been because it was written in his contract that he had to keep his second gender a secret.”

At that, Nino growled. “Stupidest contract I’ve ever heard. It should have allowed for him to tell us – what Johnny-san was thinking, I have no fucking clue. Does he not know of having anyone repress their identity for years?” He hissed, then sagged tiredly. The entire day was just in a mess.

Ohno glanced at his bond-mate and at Aiba, who had finally stopped crying but was still sniffing, eyes bloodshot, then at the silent alpha in front of him.

“Kazu, why don’t you take Aiba-chan and get something to drink? And maybe somewhere to wash Aiba-chan’s face?” He softly suggested, throwing his wallet at the omega. Surprisingly, the omega didn’t fight when he tugged the taller man up and led him down the hallway, softly rubbing the beta’s back.

Once they were out of sight and hearing range, the older alpha sat next to Sho with a heavy sigh.

“Sho, could you watch Jun for a bit while I take Kazu and Aibachan back to shower and rest for a while? Kazu just ended his heat a few days ago and Aibachan…” Ohno asked the younger alpha hesitantly, nothing how deep in thought Sho was. “The scent’s cleared out since they’ve given him the heat neutralizer, but they said he might wake up disoriented from its effects, so I don’t think he should be alone.”

Sho nodded slowly, the request sinking in before, “…sure, of course.” The alpha stood up, dusting off invisible lint.

“We won’t be too long, I think. Kazu and Aibachan would probably want to come back here as soon as possible, so maybe we’ll grab,” he looked at the clock on the opposite wall – it was nearly 4am; he would probably have to remember to call their manager to cancel all their appointments for the next day or two at least, if Johnny-san hadn’t already done so. “- breakfast, on the way back here.”

Sho waved him off, slowly walking back to Jun’s ward with a heavy heart, and guilt slowly eating into him.

The older alpha watched Sho’s retreating back with concern, sighing heavily once again. Such a bad day, honestly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they find out that Jun's an omega, and in not the most pleasant of ways.

There was an incessant soft beeping that made Jun want to throw something at its source, as well as an uncomfortable cold air that was blowing on his nose and mouth. Even with his eyes closed, he felt extremely dizzy, a dark vertigo making him nauseous. His abdomen hurt something fiercely, though far more dulled than when he in the green room with the rest of the band.

_Shit._

Jun’s eyes opened as far as it could – not very, given how heavy every part of him felt right then, but he really needed to find the rest and _apologizebegforforgivenessexplain_? As his mind started working in overdrive and anxiety started welling up in chest, he failed to register the accelerating soft beeping signalling his hyperventilation, hands beginning to reach up to claw the claustrophobic oxygen mask (was he in a hospital what was going on?).

“Hey hey stop.” A warm hand caught his wrist, and another gently pinned down Jun’s other flailing arm. “Jun – you need to calm down.” It was Sho’s voice. A sharp whine escaped Jun as the omega’s arm jerked repeatedly, wishing to remove the _stupidcontraptiononhisface_ _-_ _hecan’tbreathedamnit_ _._

A sudden darkness loomed over his head suddenly, and Sho’s face was then right in front of him, eyes dark with concern. One of the alpha’s hand had moved to cup Jun’s jaw, stroking the gasping omega’s cheek in comfort. “Take a deep breath, okay? I’ll help you.”

As Jun looked up at the alpha with wide, panicked eyes, the alpha felt a pang of something, seeing the fearful innocence. The omega nodded in short jerks, eyes fluttering as a slow darkness began to creep forward – his chest felt tight – where was air? Outside the haze, he heard a sharp beeping. “Hey, Jun, look at me.”

The alpha’s tone was urgent, the sharp scent of alpha pheromones filling Jun’s head. Jun blinked, bringing his focus back to Sho. A choked whine escape the omega, which was quickly soothed by a rumble. “Good-good, Jun. Inhale. Slowly.” He did just that, eyes still focused in a half-daze. “Exhale slowly...One more time, Jun.”

Under the alpha’s soft guidance, Jun finally calmed down, body limp on the bed and breathing settling into gentle pants rather than choked gasps. Sho sighed in relief, waving a way a nurse that was loitering outside the ward. He stroked the omega’s hair, crooning softly. “You’re okay. You did very well Jun.” Despite his steady voice, the alpha was still alarmed and internally panicking. He was terrible at this, and he honestly wished Nino or Ohno or Aiba was here because they would be so much better at this than he was.

“’orry…” Jun whimpered, feeling suddenly shameful. He sniffed, eyes hot with tears.

Sho shook his head, this time visibly panicking at the sight of tears. “It’s okay, Jun. It’s really okay.”

“didn’t mean to.”

“We know. We understand. No one’s angry at you.” The alpha soothed, reaching out to wipe away the trailing tears with his fingers. “We wish you had told us sooner, but we know now, so it’s okay, we’ll help you next time, okay?” Sho soothed. To his horror, Jun’s tears didn’t stop, the omega clinging to the alpha’s hand as Jun curled towards the alpha. “No one’s upset with you. We’re upset that you kept it from us, but we know you have your reasons.” He softly assured, stroking Jun’s hair with his free hand.

It really bothered him to see the usually headstrong man like this – of course, Jun’s, and everyone else’s second gender didn’t really matter to Sho, but Jun was…strong. Determined. Charming. Bright, in both character and presence. There was always a part of Jun that was gentle and fragile but he hid it well. Seeing the man so broken bothered the alpha so much that all he wanted to do is make the omega happy again. Hesitating briefly, Sho shifted himself, moving to sit next to Jun’s pillow.

The omega automatically moved closer to the man’s hip, sniffing pitifully, tiny tremors still shaking his body.

“It’s going to be alright now. No more hiding okay?”

Sho felt Jun nod against his thigh, softly patting the younger man’s head. The younger man continued to softly weep, although he had released his deathly grip from Sho’s hand. Sho continued to occasionally brush the tears away, impatiently staring at the door and hoping for the rest of the band to come in soon. It had already been 4 hours. Next to him, the omega struggled to remove the oxygen mask from his face, whining when Sho tried to stop him.

“Don’t touch it, Jun. It’s there to help you.” The alpha chided,

A teary glare was shot at the alpha. “It feels weird.”

Ah, there we go. Bossy Jun.

“Keep it on until the doctor says you can take it off.” Sho clucked his tongue, “You gave all of us a nasty fright. The last thing we want to see you is you ill again.”

“We leave you alone for 4 hours and Shochan’s already flirting with Junpon now, is it? Shame on you, Shochan.” Came Nino’s sudden snarky remark from the door.

Both alpha and omega flushed. Sho quickly stood up, but found his hand still caught in Jun’s, who refused to let go of him.

“Matsujun! You’re awake! Are you feeling better?” Aiba tearfully asked behind Nino, who was leaning against the doorway, a paper bag bulging with food in his hand. They looked far fresher than when Ohno had brought them back to rest, although the beta was starting to look as though he was going to cry again. The gamer rolled his eyes in faux annoyance, tugging Aiba by the hand and pushing him lightly to hug Jun – which the beta cautiously but eagerly did, of course. Nino dropped the plastic bag on the table near the bed and sliding it slightly towards the alpha.

“Your breakfast. And dinner.” The gamer took up the empty seat.

Sho nodded in thanks, but made no move to eat – his stomach still felt utterly twisted, especially after seeing Jun the way he was then and now. Vulnerable. Ill. In pain. He didn’t think he could properly taste anything until he was certain the omega was better – even then, Jun was still clearly trembling under Aiba’s hug, the tremors a side effect having his heat so forcefully neutralized.

Messing with pheromones. Nasty business.

The gamer must have felt the same, for he gave the bag a look of equal disdain.

“Where’s Leader?” Sho eventually asked, curious at his absence.

“Ah, I’m here!” The oldest member of the group entered the room, “I was just settling a call from our manager and Johnny-san.”

The words caused everyone to stiffen, especially Jun, who visibly paled at the statement. Noticing the sudden tension in the air, Ohno hastened to shake his head,  
“No no, nothing bad. Our schedule for the week has just been postponed for the most part, settled by Johnny-san himself. We’re just given a week off to take a break. He said it’s all okay and that we deserve it anyway.” The alpha gave the now nearly white omega a gentle gaze. “He also wished to apologize to you, and hoped you’ll recover soon, Jun-kun. How are you feeling?”

He frowned when he realized Jun had looked away completely. “Jun?”

“…’ired.” The words were hardly audible, causing the rest to look at Jun with concern. The omega had his eyes shut, a small silver of shiny tears at the edge. Nino looked like he wanted to say something, but Aiba quickly interrupted from his position on Jun’s other side, hands fluttering to pat Jun’s shoulder.

“Go back to sleep then, Matsujun,” his tone was reassuring. “We’ll be here when you wake up again, right?” There was a soft chorus of agreements from the rest.

“…why do you guys stay?”

“Eh?”

“Why do you even bother? I lied to you for years – why are you all still here?”

The words, despite being whispered, was filled with so much self-loathing. Nino reached over and lightly cuffed the omega, earning a sharp yelp from Jun from surprise. “Idiot. Just because you kept something from us all these years doesn’t mean we’d pack up and leave, especially when you need us.”

“We all have our secrets, we understand.” Sho added gently.

“Like despite how he acts really tough, Kazu prefers to cuddle with the slime plushie I gave him years ago than with me.”

If looks could kill.

“You’re still Matsujun. We don’t care if you’re an alpha or omega or whatever.” The beta interjected before Nino could strangle his bond-mate, the naivety in his words causing Jun’s heart to clench in even greater guilt.

Hearing them, the youngest man shrank even smaller on the bed. The words left his mouth in a sob before Jun could even control himself: “Why are you all so kind to me?”

\--

“I got my first heat a few days after I turned 12. My family were…unimpressed to say the least.” Jun nervously explained, hands carefully picking at the blanket threads. He had already been swiftly checked over by his primary physician: he could get off the (in his opinion, annoying) oxygen, but had to stay in the hospital for several more days until the side effects of having his natural biology being forcibly manipulated passed over. Long term suppressant usage, and then having his heat neutralized had left their youngest band member on massive shaking, pale mess, and those were the most benign side effects, the doctor warned, with more severe ones to follow in the next few days.

Thus, the rest had insisted that they could make do without explanations for a week, but he had stubbornly insisted. (“I’ve kept it from everyone for years now – it can’t wait.”)

“It was the worst thing I could be – a beta would have been better. An omega was…in their opinion, the worst fate to be – no control over their own biology, requires *attention*. I woke up alone after my first heat, feeling like I was dying. None of my family members checked on me during the entire week – and they kept pretending nothing happen afterwards, like I hadn’t had my first heat and I didn’t spend it alone, just like I spent my subsequent heats.”

“Months later, I got the call from Johnny-san, who told me he wanted me in his agency…but I had to pretend to be an alpha because he said it would have been the best choice for the idol image he had in mind for me. I didn’t mind it. I wanted it so badly. I thought that maybe if I pretended to be an alpha, if I had better control over my biology and be like an alpha, I could be alpha enough for my family. That even if I’m different, it didn’t mean I was constrained to their stereotype of an omega.”

“So I went home, a few weeks later, already using the synthetic pheromones after the first Jr’s rehearsal, and the look they gave me…it was worse than when they found out I was an omega. And all those comments about how I’m trying to pretend to be something I’m not, and that I was just playing around. All I wanted was for them to accept me. I don’t understand why it was so hard.”

“Being at home was hard. After we debuted and as soon as I could move out into my own apartment, that was the first thing I did. And no one said a thing when I packed my things and left. Even now, I don’t even know how they are doing because they don’t want to associate with an omega who is pretending to be an alpha. I don’t even know why I tried so hard to put up a façade for them because no matter what I did, it wasn’t enough. Even though I love the work that we do and I don’t mind being keeping up an alpha image, I just keep thinking that if I’m good enough, that maybe if I try hard enough, I’ll be good enough for t-them.”

The man was freely crying now, big tears dribbling down and falling into his hands, which were tightly fisting the blanket covering his lap. Jun kept his eyes glued to his hands, not really wanting to see the faces on their faces. “I’m so sorry I’ve kept it from all of you. I j-just thought, the c-contract, and I d-didn’t, I just wanted to be good enough for everybody. I’m really sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“…you’re an idiot.” A smaller hand reached out to grip Jun’s wet ones, stilling their tremours. “So’s your family, no offense.”

Jun looked up at Nino, giving him a watery smile. “I know.”

Aiba had wrapped his long arm around Jun’s waist, holding the omega close to him, eyes equally teary. “If… your family can’t appreciate you like a family should then…let us become your family instead, Matsujun.”

“We don’t care if you’re an omega, as long as you’re Jun-kun,” Ohno helpfully added, patting his head affectionately.

“And let us help you next time.” Sho’s hand joined Nino’s to grasp Jun’s hands. “You’re not alone. You don’t’ have to be alone anymore. And we won’t stand for it if you hurt yourself doing it again.”

A choked half sob-half laugh escaped the omega, who nodded rapidly as they took turns to hug him, although Aiba stubbornly stuck to his side, sniffing occasionally, unwilling to separate himself from Jun.

“Aibachan~” Ohno teased gently, “don’t you want to share Jun with us?”

The beta shook his head timidly, hiding his face in his hair. “J-Jun doesn’t mind, do you?” The omega responded in kind with a soft hug, patting the sniffing beta’s head. “For all the hugs you deserved but didn’t get, Matsujun.”

“Don’t hog him to yourself, Aibaka~” Nino whined after a while. “I thought I was the only omega here for ages. I want my Jun hugs too.” Next to him, Ohno offered himself to his bond-mate, spreading his arms expectantly – Nino ignored him, persistently poking the beta on the side and making him and everyone else in the room laugh while the alpha wilted and pouted.

“You can have your Jun hugs when you omegas have nesting nights,” Sho mused, cocking his head when Jun let out a bark of lauughter at his words, Nino having had given up and just taken over Jun’s other side.

“Um, I can’t actually nest.”

The look of horror on Nino’s face was enough to send everyone in the room in a fit of giggles.


	4. Solitary (Part 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they find out that Jun's an omega, and in not the most pleasant of ways.

“Something’s bothering you.” Jun commented mildly, eyes half closed in exhaustion – he was entering his 3rd day of being hospitalized, and he absolutely hated it. It was, unfortunately, necessary, because the nausea and chills came back in full force within 36 hours, which meant that he was under medical orders (as well as his bandmate’s orders) to be monitored until the effects cleared up. Each member had taken turns to accompany the omega so that he wouldn’t be too lonely (as well as appease their own guilt, frankly speaking), but while Nino and Ohno had entertained him with their own shenanigans and magic tricks, and Aiba with random topics of his family or their juniors, Sho seemed extremely distracted. 

The alpha did try to make some conversation, but they were often awkward and stilted – it was apparent that Sho had something in his mind. In addition, the older man often looked at Jun for long periods of time when he thought the omega wasn’t looking, forehead furrowed in deep thought.  
It wasn’t really a problem for Jun – he was reading through the script for his next drama, but Sho had his eyes glued onto the same page and same line of the 1st newspaper on the stack on his lap. 

At the comment, Sho jumped slightly as he was pulled from his mind, eyes whipping to Jun. “Nothing’s wrong.” He awkwardly unfolded and folded the newspapers on his lap when he realized he had been caught distracted, but eyes sheepish. 

“You’ve been reading the same line for the past half an hour – something’s bothering you.” Jun reiterated, eyebrows raised. Sho flushed lightly, but deliberately scanned the younger man’s appearance, eyes catching the loosely held script and the omega’s haggard appearance. 

He reached over to pick the manuscript off from Jun’s grip, eyes bright with concern. “You look exhausted, shouldn’t you be resting?” His eyes flickered over to the monitor, noting the elevated temperature. 

“I’m fine.” Was Jun’s automatic response, which earned him a raised eyebrow which Jun promptly ignored. “Don’t deflect. Tell me what’s bothering you.” His tone insistent. “I won’t rest until you tell me.” 

Stubborn omega. The alpha narrowed his eyes, but sighed; he rested his elbows on his knees and steepled his fingers together, biting the inside of his cheek as he sought the appropriate words. 

“…Do you remember that day when I was studying for that stupid economics final before our filming for Shukudai-kun?” 

“The day that Leader came back to the room with a self-satisfied smirk and Nino in hand?” 

“Yeah, that day…,” Sho looked down awkwardly, biting his lip – it was an extremely unusual sight from the usually calm and collected Alpha, but Jun waited patiently for him to continue. “I didn’t mean what I said then, Jun.” 

Jun looked confused. “What are you talking about?” 

“I asked you then, why couldn’t you be more like an alpha. I didn’t mean it.” The words came out in a rush, the alpha looking half angry at himself. Jun’s eyes widened. 

“Sho…” 

“Ever since I found out that you were an omega, I, I couldn’t help but keep on remembering what I said then, and I feel so awful about saying that.” Sho continued, words slightly stuttering as he clenched his fists, voice definitely now tinged in regret. 

“Sho, it’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not!” It came out as a near shout, although the subsequent words were said in a whisper. “All this time, you’ve been trying so hard. You didn’t deserve that sort of treatment from your family, I probably sounded exactly like them, and that wasn’t fair for you.” 

“Hey, no, you were stressed, I understood.” Jun wanted to reach out, heart wishing to be able to comfort the obviously torn man. 

“That’s not an excuse, Jun! You’re good enough – no one should have to force themselves to be something they’re not. Or have to live up to stupid expectations and always feeling like they’re insufficient or, or-“ 

Jun suddenly realized that this was more than just a slip of tongue. The omega’s gaze softened as he looked at Sho, who was still struggling to find the proper words to say, forehead furrowed and hands clenched.Reaching forward, he grasped Sho’s wrist and tugged lightly, earning a confused look from the alpha. 

“Jun?” 

“Come sit here with me.” Jun said as he lightly adjusted himself to make space for Sho. The alpha resisted, shaking his head. 

“You should really be resting. Nino will have my head if he found out I was keeping you up.” 

The omega rolled his eyes, patting the empty space next to him stubbornly. “Nino won’t know. Come on, I’m cold.” Jun reasoned, widening his eyes in a poorly done puppy-eyed look. Sho hesitated, but eventually gave in, awkwardly perching himself at the edge of the bed. Jun tsked and tugged the man closer, leaning into the warmth. He was feeling cold (and awful, but he wouldn’t admit that to Sho). 

Upon feeling Jun trembling, Sho couldn’t help but wrap his arm around the omega’s shoulders. 

“I forgave you before the filming even started, Sho.” 

“You shouldn’t have. I was a jerk.” Sho’s shoulders drooped, tone tinged in self-loathing. Jun slowly ran his fingers down the alpha’s hair in a comforting gesture, smiling when the felt the older man moving closer to him. 

“That wasn’t a nice thing to say, no, but I know you were under a lot of pressure. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.” Jun cocked his head as he decided on his words carefully. “I think it’s safe to say that I understand how any form of stress or pressure, be it from school or… family,” he glanced at Sho carefully to gauge the older man’s reaction. “or self-desires, can make us say or do stupid things.” 

Sho sighed deeply, leaning back again Jun’s bed to look up at the ceiling. “Was it really obvious then?” 

“Was what obvious?” 

“Stress. Parental.” 

Jun had to fight back a snort. “Sho, we all knew it. I think all of us understood how stressful it must have been for you. Which is why we tried to make sure you didn’t kill yourself with your crazy university workload.” 

“...That wasn’t fair for you though, still.” Sho insisted, hand grabbing Jun’s in his, eyes earnest but worried. The omega felt himself slightly flush at the look, although he didn’t really understand why. 

“What?” 

“No one knew about you. You were under a lot of stress too. For a very long time. Even now still, aren’t you?” 

“Sho…” Jun dragged his hand away from Sho’s warm grip, eyes immediately looking away from the worried man and onto the blanket. “A lot of my stress is ...” he searched around for the right word, “self-inflicted? Internal pressure. I know you, and Aibachan and Leader and Nino tell me I don’t have to try so hard but...” his chest burned with the sudden desire to cry. “I think you understand what it feels like to want to please them. Even if it’s stupid. Even if it’s useless, or even if I know how hard I try they won’t miraculously accept me again.” 

It hurt. It really hurt. Jun knew that. The feeling of never being good enough. He tried, he is trying, and he’s good at it, except for this one off when he clearly fucked up just a bit, but... 

Jun turned to look desperately at the older man. 

“You understand, don’t you? They’re still family. No matter how unreasonable or unfair or cruel they may be, they’re still family. I’m so, so grateful I have the acceptance and support of everyone in Arashi, but, they’re my family. I just want their acceptance too. But, why is it so hard?” He was whimpering by now, feeling ashamed but also so hurt. He just wanted them to care – they should care, they were his family – why didn’t they care? “What did I do wrong? Why am I not good enough?” 

Sho’s eyes widened at the sight of the distressed omega, quickly tugging Jun closer to him, his own guilt replaced by protectiveness for Jun – over the years he had forgotten how earnest Jun was, despite having clearly grown up from the same eager gangly boy. And to think that Jun used to follow him like an adorable puppy as well; how did he forget about how sensitive he was? 

He cupped the omega’s face in one palm, shushing the whimpers while comfortingly passing the inside of his wrist against the omega’s temple in a scenting sign of pack comfort – something Jun should have been experienced with his own blood family. 

“You did nothing wrong.” Sho said fiercely. “You’re good enough. Don’t ever say that you aren’t good enough.” Then with a gentler voice, “I understand one’s desire to please family, Jun, but you shouldn’t do it at the expense of your own health, be it physical health or mental health, do you understand?”  
Jun sniffed, jerking his head in a series of small tearful nods. Sho shifted slightly to allow Jun to press even more closely to him in his seeking of comfort. “At some point of time, you’ll realize that what they think doesn’t matter anymore, especially if they are being unreasonable. They don’t deserve you. Maybe it’s hard to let them go now, but one day you’ll realize the only person you should be good enough for is yourself and that the only people who matter are those who actually care about you, not those that are supposed to care but don’t. You deserve better than them.” 

“It’s hard.” The younger man bit out. “And lonely.” 

Sho bit his lip. He sounded so young like that, and made the alpha feel as though he had somehow failed the young man that had looked up to him when they had just began debuting. “You don’t have to be lonely anymore. We’re all here for you.” He reassured, although he wasn’t sure if he was reassuring the omega or himself or both. 

The omega sniffed, nodding to himself while rubbing his face. Sho kept his eyes on Jun, still extremely concerned. 

Jun let out a soft snort, surprising Sho. “I can’t believe I’m crying again. Honestly.” 

The alpha grinned. “Don’t worry, we all knew you were a crybaby anyway – your reactions to sad movies made it really obvious.” He teased. Jun rolled his eyes, eyes far brighter, but then sagged tiredly against the bed and against the alpha’s shoulder. 

Sho looked worriedly at him, concerned that he might have made the younger man worse and prepared to shift back to the chair. Jun must have detected that, for he quickly tugged Sho in place. “Stay here.” 

“You really need your rest.” Sho protested. “Nino will kill me.” 

“I’ll rest better if you’re over here than there.” Jun flushed lightly. “I don’t know why but…you’re comfortable. I feel like I’ll sleep better when I have someone I know near me.” He peeked at the alpha with his large eyes. 

Sho fidgeted. There was no way he could deny Jun affection – not when he knew he had been deprived of it for years and when Jun was looking at him like that. “You omegas and your tendency for affection.” He grumbled, settling in a comfortable position on the bed. Jun smiled brightly, causing Sho to blush lightly – he was cute. 

Wait, what was he thinking? 

“Don’t worry, I’ll defend you if Nino starts bullying you later.” Jun mumbled as he curled into the alpha’s side, dozing off almost immediately from the warmth provided by Sho. 

Sho hmmed, palm reaching over to unconsciously pat the omega’s blanket-covered lap. 

“I’ll just say you made an excellent pillow.” Jun added at the end, the words ending with a soft snuffle as the omega fell asleep. 

Sho rolled his eyes. 

Omegas, really. 


End file.
